Today was the first day I’d see Harvey in 4 weeks. I wasn’t looking forward to it given how I feel about him. I cracked on with work. He arrived but went into a meeting, he told me he needed a catch up so we said we’d do that after the meeting. We discussed going to pick up lunch depending on how the meeting went. Lunch wasn’t an option though but we did manage to talk.
H: Not sure what time we are breaking for lunch on the basis he’s just had a comfort stop!
A: Thanks for the heads up.
H: No problem, were still deep in discussion!
A: Hopefully we’ll get coffee later but no worries if not.
H: Hope so I have a small token I purchased to celebrate the 12 month anniversary, as a friend I would still like you to have it, xxx
I read that and my heart sank, it made me sad to think that he’d obviously cared enough to get something for me, then my heart raced when I realised he’s not the sentimental type and it was probably toy related!!
A: That’s incredibly kind of you. I’m intrigued.
Can you fit a rose glass butt plug in a frame in your pocket? 😂
H: 😂😂😂 you know me too well, but you are right to be intrigued xxxxx
A: You always make me smile thank you.
His meeting finished as I was having coffee with another colleague, he & the other manager joined us and we chatted as a group. As I left to go back to my desk I checked my email.
H: It’s on your desk in a Buff Jiffy bag, open with care, wear with pride xxxx
I got to my desk to find the package as he’d said.
It was sealed so I put it on my lap under the desk and opened it. I’m glad there was no one around as I gasped with shock at the present!
I’m sure it needs no explanation but it was a clit clip 😳 (with hearts attached, nice touch Harvey, very romantic 😂)
I’m not sure stunned or shock would cover my actual feelings but the fact he left it on my desk was hilarious. Thank god for plain packaging (and also it’s a good job I checked my email first too! I have so many packages arrive I’d have looked like a right clown trying to explain that one 😂)
Just as I had composed myself Harvey arrived back and I couldn’t look at him, I got the giggles like a naughty school girl and felt like I was going to burst out laughing. I walked to the ladies and literally pissed myself! I emailed him to thank him.
A: Thank you. I’ll keep it safe in case #neversaynever happens xxx
H: Worst case it will make Freya piss her self if she ever has to clear your bottom drawer xxxx
A: I’m trying not to piss myself laughing.
I liked the heart symbols, that was a nice touch 😘 xx
H: In my perverted mind you are trying it for size just about now…. photo please xxxx
A: Sorry babe no photos or toy. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say it had had an effect 🙌🏼
Thank you xxx
I returned to my desk and carried on with my work, careful not to look at him! We needed to go through some stuff for work so he messaged me to say he was in the CR and go through.
I walked in and one blind was down. He was sat at the table with his laptop with a massive smile on his face. I laughed and sat next to him, he reached over, took my hand and stroked it. We chatted about the gift and the friendship and the whole time we had our arms crossed over our chests. We both knew we wouldn’t be able to keep our hands off each other. He said he’d pulled the one blind down and waited to see if I pulled the other one! I told him that I was happy to have a hug so I pulled the blind and we held each other, he kissed me and I kissed him back, told him that we’d always have the friendship and that had to come first. He stroked my leg and admired my tan so I decided to show him my white bits! Told him to have a good look as it needed to last him. We kissed and said goodbye. He laughed that I’d got him hard and he joked about lifting my dress and fucking me over the cabinet. I told him that we’d been lucky not to get discovered and he agreed. Neither of us needed to lose our jobs & pensions! Not to mention our partners. I said goodbye and went home.
I felt sad but I still don’t know why. I know it’s the right decision for both of us, especially me. Feeling the way I do is a recipe for disaster, one or both of us will get hurt and the reaction we have to each other is out of control. It’s only a matter of time before someone notices. It had to end. I got home and emailed him.
A: You have no idea the sheer force of will power I had to use in that room. I think that’s the reason I crossed my arms, it would’ve been so easy to let my guard down and allow you access to everything. I hope you appreciated my white bits, you are the only man I’ve ever felt truly comfortable with to allow myself to be seen in such a way. Thank you for making me feel wanted & desired, I’m grateful that we can keep the friendship.
I already miss you & your touch. Sad but true. What we had was something pretty special and something I’ll remember with a smile on my face always xxxx
H: Evening Babe,
I understand the force of will power needed, hence my sweat and folded arms, it will get easier, and you will be safe in the knowledge you will always be wanted and desired.
Friendship 1st but never say never and with abstinence we might even better February one day xxxxx😘😘😘 you are a top 🍌 xxx
(The top banana comment made absolutely no sense but it made me smile)
Still laughing at top 🍌😂 xxx
Walked into work and this was on my desk:
Mystery solved lol!
H: How was your top banana? Xxxxx how are you today? The weekend is nearly here xxxx
A: Really made me laugh, thank you for that. It was delicious even though it’d been violated 😂
He called me before I left work and we chatted about work and our evening plans etc. In the course of conversation about various subjects his breathing changed and I asked him if he was hard he said yes! He can’t understand how a simple conversation has that affect, he thinks it’s teenage hormones 😂
He joked he was having a mid life crisis and needed to buy a Porsche, I told him he’d already had the affair so it made sense. He said that we’d discussed this and decided it wasn’t an affair, and I told him that we would call it what we wanted but to anyone else, especially our spouses, I’m sure they’d say it was an affair. We agreed friends with the occasional benefit. I almost told him about how I felt but luckily common sense kicked in before it got very messy. In one way if he knew it might help, he might back off and not engage at the risk of me boiling his bunny! That would never happen though and I’m sure he knows that. We’ll keep the banter and the fun. No sex, no risks just a wonderful friendship hopefully.
Tomorrow will mark a year since we embarked on this adventure. How quickly that has gone!