The “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation

So here’s the conversation where I told him it was over;

A: I’ll be honest I’ve really struggled with the lack of communication whilst we’ve both been away. I know it is what it is, and we both know that and agreed but I’ve struggled massively. I’ve realised how very one sided this is, I pop in often to check this email but after a fortnight of so few emails it does make me realise that I need more from this than you do. I’m going to pull away for my sanity. I expect you won’t be expecting this (or maybe you will and that was your hope, who knows?) but I feel it’ll make little difference to your life at all.
Worry not, friends first will prevail and work will still be the same, you’ll get the same level of help & support you do now without the added benefit/detriment of all the other stuff. I will never share what we’ve had/done with each other ever.
Thank you, honestly.
Donna/Ava whatever xxx
H: Wow, didn’t see that one coming, as ever I respect your wish and your honesty.
I live in hope of never say never xxxxx
Friends first foremost and always xxxx
A: Thank you xx
H: Wow, didn’t see that coming!
As ever I respect your wish and your honesty.
I live in hope of never say never.
Friends first foremost and always
Relax and enjoy the holiday.
See you on your return xxxx
Re sent as I thought it hadn’t gone xxxx
A: Thank you
As it looks like you didn’t see my reply x
H: They passed in cyberspace, just leaving site, how’s your day?
Xxxx
A: Better now I’ve got that off my mind thank you.
Safe journey back xx
H: I’m glad your mind is at rest, I will maintain radio and email silence but will monitor the email in case you need to chat xxxxxx
Night babe enjoy the rest and make the most of the sun xxxx
A: Thank you. I didn’t take the decision lightly. I won’t need to chat so don’t worry about checking the email. Ironically the lack of comms is the reason previously and each time (just like this one) you become more available only for it to fade out again. Ultimately now I know how I feel about it all it’ll be easier not to check. This is like ripping off the plaster, the worst part is over I just need to get through it.
Thanks for listening xxxxx
Ps at any time you want to talk or offload I’m still here, just text me and I’ll check the email. Ultimately I’m your friend first, you can always reach out xxx
H: Night babe, sorry for been an idiot xxx friends first and always xxxxx
A: It’s not you it’s me 😂😂😂
H: Laughing like mad, it was 1986 when some one last said that to me, if you read this then chill and relax.
Xxx
A: That’s my plan.
It’s going to be fine, we had a great friendship before this all got complicated so we can keep that xx
H: 359 days of fun and a friendship still intact I don’t think that’s a bad result xxx
A: Agreed. I don’t regret a single day!
Xxx
H: Agreed.
Any way what’s happening on your holiday? For someone not checking email your not doing well! Good food ? Good Weather? How’s the wagon, I’m guessing ok but with moderation?
Xxx
He then sent me an email containing top secret news about something work related.
A: You’re correct, indeed I know. I just hope it’s the right move for him, personally not convinced it’s what he needs but I hope he does well. He’s a good bloke just lacks focus at times. Xxxx
Yes I’m well aware I’ve skipped answering personal questions. Wagon is intact though so worry not! But thanks for asking at least.
I realised this email is my blog email so until I change/delete that I’ll still be in here. You’re still emailing so I’m still replying!!
He replied with some personal stuff about home and mentioned that there was lots to catch up on.
A: Sounds like it’s been eventful. We will catch up over a coffee when we’re next in the office. No worries, hope it goes ok xx
H: Night night babe,

Sleep well in the knowledge that all is good, I’d even say our friendship Will be stronger than ever on your return.
Xxx
A: Night babe. I dare say you’re right about the friendship.
Sleep well xx
H: Did you manage any sleep 😴? What’s on the holiday agenda for today?

Then the next day he decided to fill me in on a dream he had! Post to follow!

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