Meh, men!

So it’s been an interesting week since I posted.

A couple of things have happened that have made me question my relationship with both Dick & Harvey.

Dick has continued to be an absolute nightmare while we’ve been away. He is the most selfish man on the face of god’s green earth and I’m sick to death of him and his attitude. He bit my head off on Monday in front of Joy and his other family that were with us and I’m afraid it was the final straw for me. This was on the back of not once being asked for my opinion on where we went, being sat in the back of the van whilst travelling and basically being ignored for the whole time whilst with his family.
Not to mention the cursory attempt at sex we had when he asked on Saturday evening if I fancied a quickie? Yes Dick, by all means climb on top of me for 4 minutes whilst you pump away until you get a release. I really appreciated that enormously!! We spent zero quality time together and I realise now I should’ve stuck to my original plan and not gone. That being said though, I did get to spend time with Joy and she’s been an amazing tour guide showing me all the fab places she visited last year. It was worth it just for that, memories that I will treasure forever despite the fact there’s a good chance my marriage is over.

Things with Harvey have reached a bit of an impasse for me. After feeling quite out of sorts with Dick and feeling like I was wasting my time, my mind drifted to a boat in the lake. On this boat was a man and woman laughing and I couldn’t help but think that that could be me & Harvey. He knows his way around a boat and I know that he’d be much better company and a damn sight more attentive. As soon as I realised where that train of thought was going I soon gave myself a sharp slap to snap myself out of that reverie. This is not real life and will never be a reality, it was just a reaction to the shitty situation I was in at the time.
Harvey has been incommunicado since last Wednesday. A record by his previous attempts, I’m not bitter or twisted about this, I understand we’re away and our focus should be on the here and now. I get that totally but the fact he hadn’t even read his emails is out of character for him. I wasn’t unduly concerned until I got an email from Google informing me that someone had tried to access his email account. (The default account for back up is my email) I panicked that his wife had become aware of us/this and felt the need to go in and wipe everything in the event she was successful. Well I worried for nothing because as soon as I landed back in the UK I checked my email to discover someone had reset the password on the account as google had sent yet another email and that he had replied to my email. I have no idea how he did that as I’d deleted it but maybe it had already downloaded on his phone before I pressed delete. Turns out the man is an idiot and couldn’t access his account.
He responded to say he’d had no access until now nearly a week later and I realised that I really couldn’t be arsed with his excuses if they were valid or not.

I really do deserve better on both fronts!



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