So where were we? Yes I’d done the walk of shame back to my room, thankfully bumping into no one as I’m not sure I could adequately explain why I’m wandering the corridors of the hotel wearing my clothes from dinner and carrying a hello kitty wash bag 😂
Got back to my room and although I didn’t sleep I was at least comfortable and I could listen to music.
I was irritated and knew I wouldn’t sleep. I’d not packed my medication so thought it was that, but I know I felt frustrated with myself that I’d left. If I’m honest I’m not used to being shown affection and it scares me how easy all this has become. It no longer feels like an affair, it feels like a relationship and it’s not what either of us want or need.
I was getting ready for breakfast when I realised he probably hadn’t set an alarm so I called him and text him but got no response. I called his room and woke him thankfully. He said he didn’t know how I’d left without waking him and thanked me for a great night. Said I’d see him later.
Had breakfast with the girls and packed my room and checked out.
Conference was a bore fest. Got through the day with little or no interaction with Harvey. We had a conversation on the phone while we were at other ends of the hotel. I’m conscious that I was detached from it all, I know I’m struggling to keep my head on straight with the situation. I didn’t see him before I left.
On the way home I deleted his inbox and messaged him to tell him.
A: Deleted your inbox as I know you’ll forget no doubt.
Safe journey home xxx
Got home and collapsed on the sofa exhausted. It takes so much out of my already depleted energy levels going away with work, fun times with Harvey are a great distraction but I pay the price when I finally get home and chill. Dick came home and gave me a massive hug. He’d been away himself since early Monday morning so I hadn’t seen him for 4 days. A rare show of emotion from him. He told me I looked fucked. (If only he knew!!!) Told me to have a bath and chill and that he’d get fish and chips.
Had a quiet night as I had literally no energy.
Had email response from Harvey.
H: Thank you xxxx how’s you? I’m just cooking Fish cakes salad and pasta for me and the kids then I might finish watching Narcos on Netflix followed by some TT at 9.00
A: I’m knackered! After a night of no sleep and the rookie error of not packing any of my medication, I’ve spent a day feeling irritated and not great. Nothing a good night sleep won’t sort I’m sure. Dick fetched fish and chips as apparently I look fucked. The irony 😂
Enjoy your tea and catching up with the kids, must be nice to have them both home.
I’m going to have a bath, read for a bit then hopefully have 8 hours sleep!
See you tomorrow xxx
H: My bad sorry for the snoring xxxxx
Kids are arguing so I’m locking myself in the lounge and leaving them to it, hope you catch some zzzz’s see you tomorrow for a bacon 🥓 sandwich xxxxx
A: Babe I fucked off and did the walk of shame at 12.30am it wasn’t your fault 😂
H: Oops in my mind we were having good sex till about 2.00am! Hope I wasn’t too selfish xxxxx for the record you are wanted and desired and I enjoyed the kissing nearly as much as the shagging xxxx see you tomorrow, night night xxxx
I think you may have been a bit more pissed than I credited you with!
There was an inordinate amount of kissing, along with lots of affection. I think you’re missing your wife far more than you’ll admit.
You made me feel very wanted & desired even if it was mis-directed thank you!
See you later xxxx
H: Honestly and I have the receipts to prove it I had 3 pints (no food) and for the record I’m dreading her coming home! Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Night night xxx
A: It’s all good, no complaints from me babe. I’m glad you felt like you’d experienced a marathon night of epic shagging!
Sorry I misinterpreted your affection, it was very gratefully received. It does upset me though how easy it all is, so you will have to forgive me for pulling away and going back to my own room. I’d have loved nothing more than another session first thing in the morning once you’d recovered!!
Night babe see you soon xxx
Friday 9th June
Had 3 hours sleep so I felt a little brighter but still really irritated. Can only be hormonal at this point.
Got to work and Harvey messaged to ask if any of us wanted bacon sandwich picking up. I met him at the car when he arrived to help transfer the drinks & sandwiches. As I went to get the drinks he stroked my leg. It’s almost like he can’t help himself!!
Busy, busy Ava and he had meetings all morning. We did get a quick trip out at lunch to pick dinner up to bring back to the office. We literally went straight there and came back. I remarked that in his earnest to return we hadn’t even had a hug! He reminded me that he has a meeting room all afternoon and he was sure we’d sort something. We sat in the canteen and he’d bought a salad but couldn’t finish it as he forgot he’d already had a bacon sandwich earlier. He said you’d be amazed how easily a fat stomach fills and I told him not to be so harsh. He then thought it would be funny to reply “I was talking about you not me”. As soon as the words left his mouth he realised what he said. I told him that he never learns and he apologised and tried to take it back. Told him it was too late, I washed up my lunch things and returned to my desk.
He went to his next meetings and I instant messaged him about some work related stuff but didn’t get a reply. When he came out the meeting I went to his desk and we discussed the work things but he didn’t really engage.
20 minutes before I left I messaged him to say I needed to catch up before he goes as he’s on leave next week. I went into the conference room and he told me he’s in on Monday so we can sort it all then. He hugged me, apologised and gave me a chaste kiss. We walked back to the desk through the canteen and it was deserted. I kissed him and told him to have a good weekend. So disappointed that he can’t learn from his mistakes. I emailed him when I got home.
A: Not going to labour the point because it’s done now, but please please learn from this. I know you don’t mean it, and it’s just your humour but I can’t explain to you what those words trigger for me. Shame, hatred & negative feeling about my size- I can’t get away from it, it’s all due to my history and it affects me enormously.
Yes I know I’m beautiful, great figure, sexy as fuck and you’re a really lucky man and all the other bollocks you come out with but it changes nothing.
Have a great weekend, I’m not expecting much in the way of communication as I know wife is home now and you’ve got lots on. No worries at all. See you Monday xxx
H: Just left work, I know sorry doesn’t cut it but SORRRY xxxxxxx
A: Late Friday finish for you.
Thanks for the apology.
See you Monday xxx
H: I’m an idiot and it won’t happen again xxxxx night night xxxx
A: You are an idiot, a very fucking lucky one!!
It’s a good job you’re a good shag 😂😂
As predicted I haven’t heard anything else all weekend. He’ll be in tomorrow for a day before he leaves for the week. I plan to leave him to it. No doubt he’ll pick up where he left off already forgetting what happened Friday. How great it must be to have a selective memory and no conscience!