29/30th/31st January

29th – Sunday

Had a nice quiet day, it got off to a great start off when Dick bought me up breakfast in bed. I think I’d overdone it shopping the day before as I was completely exhausted. Didn’t do a great deal at all, leisurely day as Joy was at football, Frank took Jayne out shopping and Dick and I had a very lazy day. I heard from Harvey on and off.

H: Afternoon babe, how’s you? I’ve just put my feet up with a cold tin of Diet Coke, been mending cookers and picking up 100’s of rotten apples in the garden yesterday was Physio, ironing cooking etc…. radio is on in the background.
House is quiet, Daughter’s just gone back to Uni, sons working and wife’s asleep

H: I’m sat here smiling with a hard on thinking about your perfect breasts and responsive nipples, I love to tweak and play with them squeezing and pulling biting and stretching with my teeth, cupping you with one hand and slapping down to make the blood flow working my hand into your pants to feel your wetness, working your clit till you come…..xxxxxx

A: Happy memories, enjoy! Xxx

H: Gym bound for some me time xxxxx what are you up to?

A: Chilling! Got my arse kicked by the gp Friday so I’ve rested like I was told to.
Hope the gym went well xx

H: Smashed it thanks to 3 Doors Down and Halestorm xxxxx I’ve lost it all from my iPhone so I’ve been on YouTube xxxxx
Hope you’re rested, if you need me to kiss where you’ve been kicked then I’m your man xxxxxx

A: Do you need me to bring my portable drive back in?
Thanks for the offer 😂 xxxxx

H: Yes please, and any time xxxxx night babe sleep tight xxxxx

A: I’ll sort it tomorrow and bring it in Wednesday xxx

Had a small cleaning blitz in the bathroom as I felt a bit guilty for sitting on my arse and doing nothing. Big mistake though as I destroyed my beautiful nails that I’d done the night before. I had a bath and did my nails again. Decided to have a last blow out by ordering an indian takeaway and watching TV with Dick until it was time for bed. Peaceful day together, it makes life so much more bearable when we get along. No, there’s still little interaction sexually. He will happily lie next to me, cuddle me, put his head on my lap while we watch tv but that’s all. I feel like a complete bitch because at the moment he’s being nice, it’s working but I need more. I need to feel like I’m wanted, desired, to be fucked. Is that too much to ask?? I know Harvey isn’t the answer, he has enough of his own situation going on, and I just need him to be there for me in the way Dick isn’t. Isn’t that what affairs are for?

30th – Monday

Busy day at work so it went quickly thankfully. Received a call from Tina to say that Lisa was apprehensive about tomorrow’s appointment but was just going with her mum & dad and that they’d tell me how they got in when they got back. Healthy eating & exercise is back on the agenda so I went food shopping with Dick after work so that we could try to stick to calorie goals. He’d had a difficult day at work and apart from a minor road rage incident on the way to the supermarket he behaved. He’s determined not to let the stress of his job impact his home life so day one went well. Very little interaction with Harvey, in fact if I hadn’t sent him an email regarding what music he needed I didn’t think I’d have heard from him.  I think there’s a good chance that I was pissed off at the lack of contact by now. Pathetic I know given that it is what it is, but I have to be honest……..

A: I’m in the office after all tomorrow so if you send me a list of music you want I’ll put it on the drive tonight for you xxx

H: Thanks that’s very thoughtful, any 3 doors down, Halestorm and anything else you think I might like xxxxx

A: I have my moments. Did you lose everything? I.e. Alter bridge, daughtry etc?

H: Yes I did xxxxx night babe see you tomorrow 😘

I sent him a screenshot of what music I’d copied for him.

A: 5.6gb

I had a bath and did some nail art over last nights nails. Dick was taking the piss out of me saying that I was sad to be interested in something so trivial, I told him that I had nothing better to do but he was welcome to distract me. His idea of distraction was to look for another holiday……………..! I told him there was better things to do with his hands and he apologized and said he wasn’t in the mood. Fair enough, I didn’t push it, what would be the point. We looked at ideas for October but I told him we could look for deals nearer the time and I went to bed.

31st – Tuesday

My day got off to a surprising start when Dick sent me the confirmations for the holidays we had booked. I’d asked him to email them to work so I could start getting all my stuff together. I received 3 emails, not 2 as expected. It turns out after I went to bed he thought “fuck it, I’ll book it anyway” he’s a firm believer of the axiom ‘it’s better to beg forgiveness than seek permission’ I was surprised that he’d do that given that I’d said last night we’d wait. I called him to check he’d not actually lost his mind. He laughed and said life is short, we work hard and deserve it. He’s also aware that I’m struggling and he thinks it’ll give me something to look forward to. He then admitted there’s less chance of me leaving him. I told him that I wasn’t planning on that, yes I’m unhappy but it’s not totally broken and that I appreciate what he’s trying to do. He frustrates me so much, I’m not ungrateful I just think he finds it so easy to throw money at the issues than try and fix them.

Harvey was due in the office this morning so it was day one of restraint we would stick to. It wasn’t likely to be a problem to be fair, we’ve not had a great deal of contact so I planned to keep things cool. I gave him the portable drive when he came in.

I went to lunch with Freya, she had to go to the shops so I went with her. We chatted about various things we have going on currently. It’s good to have each other to off load to. When I got back from lunch I saw an email from Harvey.

H: Thanks, how was lunch? I’m in CR all afternoon for 1 to 1’s xxxx

About an hour later I got a message from Harvey on our instant messenger system to say his meeting was nearly finished, he needed my help to close out something on his laptop so could I go in and assist? Told him to shout up when ready and I’d go in. Nicely orchestrated Harvey, ten out of ten! I was pleased though even if I’d rather die than admit it!

I got a text from Tina to say that Lisa was ok and that she’d come to see me after work. I wasn’t needed on Thursday either so to cancel my annual leave and she’d explain later. I was quite worried as I was concerned that maybe she’d either already miscarried or planned to keep it.

I went through in between meetings and one blind was down completely and the other one was half down. I sat at the table and he walked cross, closing the blind as he came to me. We kissed and he stroked my breasts through my jumper, nothing too daring and neither of us got carried away. I won’t say I was detached exactly but I think I was distracted. Neither of us seemed particularly arsed but wasn’t sure if it was just me.

Got home and quickly got changed before Lisa & Tina came down. I sent Harvey an email.

A: Sorry about today. Epically distracted with everything going on so I wasn’t really feeling it. I’m also conscious that we need to be more careful in the office too. Kisses on the hop are fine but anything more needs to stop. Neither of us need to be caught in a compromising situation! I’ll make it up to next week if we get chance I promise xxxx

Tina & Lisa came down and very long story short, given Lisa’s age, size & mental state currently she’s decided to have surgery on Saturday and not the tablets. They both seem a lot better now they know what the plan is.

They left just as Dick came home. I said a quick hello as I got ready for the gym, Joy & I were booked in for a class at 6.30 so it was going to be quite a rush to get there but luckily Dick gave us a lift. Got there a little early thanks to the lift so we pounded the rowing machine, got to class to discover that our Zumba class wasn’t happening as the instructor was ill and it’d been swapped to Legs, bums & tums. Jesus Christ that was excruciating, but we managed it. Went in the treadmill once the class had finished then walked home. Got in and already my legs were feeling it! I’m so unfit for fucks sake, had a bath and struggled to get out. It’s that bad! Literally got out, got dry and went to bed.



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