21st -24th January

21st – Saturday

Had a lazy day as I still felt dreadful. Other than going food shopping finally I did very little! The photos I’d sent Harvey were plaguing me, I know he’d never do anything untoward with them but I couldn’t risk them accidentally coming to light so I went in and deleted his emails. I told him what I was planning but in my haste to clear everything I deleted that email too! He emailed me.

H: Afternoon, hope your feeling better, here’s some vertical roses to cheer you up🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
I see you’ve done some house keeping on my in box xxxxxx
What are you up to today?
Xxxxxx

A: Hello!
Thank you for the roses 😘
Yes I sent you an email to say I was deleting your inbox it would appear I deleted that too, sorry. Those photos were haunting me sorry. I know you’d never do anything with them but if they accidentally came to light I’d die of embarrassment. It’s a good job you’ve got a good memory!
I feel loads better today so I’ve been food shopping and I’m back on it. I need to get healthy again.
What you been up to?
Xxxxxx

H: I have been steam cleaning the decking and patio so it’s not slippy, then I’m going to goband watch the game on sky.
I can’t wait to taste you on the 8th….
Xxxxx

A: Very busy boy!
Oh there’s so much to look forward to on the 8th I’m not sure we’ll fit it all in xxxx

H: I’ll do my best xxxx

A: You always do!
How much do you wish we were somewhere together now?
Me in my underwear, tied to a chair with you having complete control over what you do to me??
What would you do????

H: Blind fold
Ball gag
Sky sports
Xxxxxx

A: Too funny! Hey I’ll have you know I’m a great person to watch sports with! I’m very knowledgeable and enjoy watching. Plus point, I can do that naked 😂😂😂😂 xxxx

H: lol I was only kidding I’d record the game so I could concentrate on you…
You would be blindfolded legs over the chair arms, behind your wrists that would be tied to arms legs spread showing me your wet pink slit….. “today you are my Whore”
Tits and nipples would get squeezed and tweaked with me dipping into you with 2 fingers fast and hard hitting your clit with my thumb “whore you need to ask permission to come”
I drop to my knees and taste your sex fingering and licking reading your arse reaching into the bag in the side you tremble as you have no idea what’s in my hand…
“Open your mouth” you obey you feel the smooth cold glass on your lips “don’t drop that if you do I’ll make you my anal whore”
You clap your lips and teeth around the bulbous glass plug ……..

A: And I’m guessing you already own these items in your bag? Gulp 😳
Intrigued, but not terrified. I think the fact my nipples went hard reading that is a good indication that nothing’s off limits.
Looking forward to being yours for the night xxxxx

H: That’s for me to know and you to find out xxxxx

I start on your clit, flicking, licking, sucking, pulling, tweaking, smacking I nibble a bit to hard and you yelp loosing the grip on the glass plug….. it sides down your body
“I told you what would happen, you’ve only yourself to blame”
Taking the plug I put my hand under your arse and lift you up, your leg muscles help take the weight, The tip of the plug rests against your arse I kneel down and wait for your legs to give way as you slowly sink into the plug. “Good girl”
I quick smack of your clit and I thrust the steel balls inside you, un tying your wrists “get dressed it’s time for dinner, don’t even think of removing any toys, you are my whore for the night” …… xxxxxx

A: Question, how the fuck am I supposed to sit down to dinner with a butt plug in?
😂😂😂😂 Why the fuck am I laughing? 😂😂😂😂

H: Never let truth get in the way of a good story xxxx Night night babe xxxxx

A: You make me smile.
Night babe xxxxxx

I went to bed with a smile on my face. He’s the perfect tonic for feeling shit!

22nd – Sunday

Still not 100% so pottered about and did some chores and made an epic Sunday dinner. Had a nice day watching tv and generally doing what I wanted so not a bad day at all. Heard from Harvey before bed.

H: Night babe, hope your recovered and ready for a hard week in the office xxxx

A: I’m feeling much better thanks!
Night babe xxxx

23rd – Monday

Craptastic day in the office. I think I have the worlds most boringly frustrating job. It has its advantages though. It’s on the doorstep and it’s a piece of piss to do. I had a laugh with the girls although I was still subdued from my headache.

H: Evening how was your day, I’m hoping to get to the pool for a swim xxxx

A: Busy day! Not actually sat down yet just doing tea then off for a soak in the bath.
Enjoy your swim xxxx

H: And you your bath, see you tomorrow xxxx

A: I certainly will!
Hope you’re ok xxxx

Came home and tidied up and thought I’d have a peaceful night but no such luck. Joy had gone out and called me and asked if her friend come to ours for a bit as she was upset and she didn’t want to go home looking like that and her mum asking loads of questions. I presumed it was usual boyfriend drama so agreed. When they arrived I could see that something was seriously wrong so I asked what was going on and Joy said it wasn’t anything for me to worry about. About 20 minutes later she text me and asked me to come upstairs. I went up to find Lucy holding two pregnancy tests both positive! Thankfully they were hers not Joys. Short lived respite though because this girl is 14! I can’t believe all the education out there and this still happens. She’s completely devastated. I sat with her, held her and told her that as much as she is upset and scared she needs to tell her mum. She managed to calm down and we had a good chat about what needs to happen next. I was honest and told her that whichever path she chooses will be the right one for her but she will have this with her forever. The sooner she tells her mum, the more options and support she has available to her. She said there’s no way she can keep this child, she’s too young and she’s terrified. She thinks her mum & dad will throw her out and she’ll be on her own. I told her that there’s no way they would do that. Yes they’ll be angry and upset to start with but they would move heaven & earth to make sure she was ok. She promised me she would go home and tell her mum tomorrow morning after her dad had gone to work. After she left Joy and I had an adult conversation about it all and she said I have nothing to worry about on that score she hasn’t a boyfriend or even thinking about having sex, but if she did she would take precautions and use condoms as pregnancy isn’t the only concern. She’s so bloody matter of fact about it all, I’m grateful though.

Received an email from Harvey before bed.

H: Better for the swim and the thought of seeing you tomorrow xxxx

A: Sweet talker
Glad you got some time to yourself
See you tomorrow xxxxx

I didn’t sleep very well at all again. Selfishly I thought about how hard me & Dick tried for our family and how heartbreaking it was to go through losing our daughter and all the miscarriages we suffered, then knowing that poor Lucy finds herself in this situation the first time she has sex is just too hard.

24th – Tuesday

Got up and ready for work. Was surprised to see Lucy on our doorstep. She gets a lift with Joy to school as she lives in the same close. She told us her mum has a hospital appointment today so she will tell her after school, she knows if she tells her this morning she’ll cancel the appointment and she’s waited so long she can’t let her do that. She will tell her after school before her dad comes home. She’s far braver than me, to be able to go to school when your mind must be driving you crazy. She assured me she’d tell her this afternoon so I told her that was fine but I’d be home at 4.45 and if she hadn’t told her by then and wanted me to come with her I would. I dropped her off at school and my heart broke. What a completely tragic situation. Tried to immerse myself in work but couldn’t really settle. Freya pulled me into an empty office and asked me if I was ok and I broke down and told her. I can’t imagine how hard it is for Lucy, I’ve known her all her life and I think the world of her and her family. I’m devastated for them all. I know it’s completely recoverable but right now it’s just too hard.

I went to the bank at lunch as I had to pay some money in to pay the balance on my holiday. Whilst I was out I received an email from Harvey.

H: What’s for lunch

A: I’m currently queuing in the bank. Got to pay my holiday in Thursday so just paying in some cash from under the mattress 😂
You off to the deli?

I was in the car on the way back when I received a missed call from him. I called him back and he was offering to pick me up. Told him I was with Freya and thanked him for the offer.

Got through the afternoon still in a daze I think. Managed a conversation with Harvey in the canteen as we ate lunch. I told him what was going on and he sympathised. Got a text from Joy to say Lucy had told her mum. About 10 minutes later I got a call from her mum. She thanked me for last night and for convincing Lucy to tell her and offering to come with her tonight. Told her I was here if she needed me and how sorry I was.

Went home. I realised I’d not even checked my emails so found a few from Harvey from earlier.

H: Yes, I might even walk or I could drive and pick you up, just in a finance meeting, what would work for you ?

I’m practising restraint but in a scale of 1 to 10 I’m at 11 for kissing you right now Xxxx

A: Sorry I missed your emails it’s been that kind of day.
Hope you have a good evening xxxx

H: Not a problem, glad you are busy, hope tonight goes as well as possible.

Tina, Lucy’s mum rang me and asked if I was free to come up for coffee as she could do with a chat. I went to see them and walked in to Lucy’s dad Neil sobbing his heart out on the sofa. Tina had told him in the kitchen as she felt she couldn’t keep it to herself and she hates secrets. I didn’t know what I could do really. I just asked Lucy how she felt and what they planned to do. I told her she needed to see a GP and make a plan from there. They thanked me for being there and told me that they were so grateful for Joy. She’d taken Lucy to the shop and bought the test kits, she’d been an amazing friend and that they really appreciated it. This is the family that Joy is going abroad with in August all being well. Unless of course Lucy keeps the baby in which case that will be cancelled. We left then to it and told them they know where we are.

Dick came home grumpy (for a fucking change, not!) and asked where I’d been so I told him about what was going on in confidence. He wasn’t very understanding or sympathetic which is bloody typical Dick to be honest, I dare say he’d be the same if it was Joy.

I went to gym with Joy in the hopes I could channel my energy into something positive! 2 hours of that and I was knackered. Came home, had a bath and went to bed.

H: Night babe xxxxxx

A: Night babe. Hope you’re ok, day one of restraint sucked btw.
I’ve been to the gym and I’m fucked.
Hopefully catch up tomorrow xxxxx

H: It certainly did, talking of restraints I have a sample on my desk….. need to make sure your not allergic………
bring on the 8th xxxxxx

A: If it’s that orange thing you mentioned it before we got together I think…….!
Looking forward to the 8th xxxxxxxx

H: Lol, this is some nice sailing rope, I thought you were allergic to the rubber Physio band?

A: I am lol. Sailing rope sounds hopeful but I’ve heard cotton braiding is fine 😂

H: I’ll have a look xxxxx night night xxxxx

A: Night babe. I’m already tucked up in bed nice and naked xxxxx

I went to bed with a heavy heart.

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