Woke up early hours for more painkillers again, can’t wait for this swelling and aching to disappear. Harvey had replied to my email from before bed.
H: Look forward to it, thoughts of Thelma and Louise will help me get off tonight & sleep will follow shortly after xxxx
I attempted to go back to sleep but it eluded me once again. A million thoughts going through my head so I gave up and went downstairs. I’m torn between wanting to be there for him as he needs my support & feeling like I need to leave well alone as he has enough on. I’m also a little bit torn on why he wants to meet. Is it that he needs a distraction and seeing me fills that need, is he meeting up with me because he thinks I need him to or is it purely because he needs a friendly person and a hug? I’m trying not to overthink things (as is my usual!) but I can’t help but think there’s more to it. His wife is seriously ill in hospital, and although she’s not aware if he’s there or not, his place is with her not meeting up with me. I was torn about what to do. I’m not very proud of myself, what kind of person must I be to arrange to meet him while his wife is lying in her hospital bed? I got washed, dressed & ready for work. Upon arriving at work I saw he’d emailed me.
H: Morning, it looks like you were awake early, did you get back to sleep? Xxxxx catch you later for a chat, I’m dropping son off at college then going to the hospital at 9.30 for a bit, there is no phone signal at there but I have wifi.
How’s the tooth?
No sleep for Ava! Just taken more painkillers can’t believe how sore I am. The dentist is a butcher!
Hope there’s some positive change today for you all Xxxxx
I got on with my work. I figured the only way I’d know what was going on with Harvey was to see him. I emailed him.
A: I should be able to get away if you still need to, completely understand if you can’t. I know you have bigger things going on right now! Xxxxx
H: 12.30 any good ? I can meet/pick you up anywhere, I look forward to it if you can make it xxxxx
A: Ideal for me. What about the pub or hotel car park? I’ll get a taxi from here unless you’d rather go further afield but bear in mind I have to get back xxxx
H: Hotel is good for me
A: Looking forward to seeing you xxxxx
I finished up some jobs & booked a taxi.
H: On my way xxxx
A: See you soon, taxi is booked for 12.30 xxxx
Met him at the hotel, climbed in his car gave him a kiss and went for a drive. We talked about various things. He then pulled into a farmers field he’d spotted as we drove past. We kissed as we chatted and once again things got hot & heavy very quickly! Before I realised it I had undone his shirt buttons and was stroking his chest, neck and face. His hands were up my dress & in my bra squeezing and pulling my nipples. I stopped him so I could remove my tights – rookie error but technically none of that was going to be happening so I didn’t come prepared- he pulled up my dress & undid my bra so he had unrestricted access to my breasts. I laid as far back as I could in the seat whilst he got me off with his fingers as he kissed me. So wet! We undid his trousers so I could release his cock. I put my hair in a pony tail & then kissed him as stroked his hard cock until I bent down and took him in my mouth as I bent down his finger slid down the back of my knickers and found my arse, he gently slid his finger past and got me off again as he told me what he wanted to do to me as he came in my mouth.
God he’s so good at getting me off, I think he completely appreciated it too. I didn’t bother putting my tights back on as they were ruined!
We talked for a while before he dropped me off back near work. I expected to feel bad or at least guilty but I don’t. I’m not very proud of myself but I figured we both fulfill a need/void in each other. And what the eyes don’t see, the heart can’t grieve about! No one made him come to see me, it was his idea. I hope it gave him a reason to smile and he’s not now feeling guilty about it. I don’t know when or if I’ll see him again, it could be a very long time before he’s back. We will keep the lines of conversation open for now. It may peter out of its own accord due to lack of contact, he may decide he can’t do this anymore. Especially when his wife recovers and he doesn’t get the opportunity to see or contact me. It’s out of my hands! Whatever happens though the friendship will survive, it might be awkward knowing what we know & what we’ve done, but it’s solid enough to survive. I messaged him to thank him for coming.
A: So good to see you. I’m glad we had catch for a catch up and a cuddle xxxxxx
H: Thank you, we definitely need a bed xxxx
I needed that, it’s a little bit of normality back to my week xxxxxx
He asked me to sort something out about a work thing and I replied I was on it. I then sent him the information he needed.
Work continued and the only issue I had was the dickhead from yesterday calling me an annoying cow messaged me asking if he could call me as he couldn’t find a particular document on the shared system we used. I sent him the link to where it sits on the system and told him to just click the link. He replied to say he could do with a chat so I replied I was too busy and to just type his request into an email. He said it wasn’t important and he’d speak to me when I wasn’t as busy. I resisted the urge to say don’t hold your breath! I just didn’t reply. It’s amazing that when they want something I’m their best buddy but amongst their friends I’m a nightmare. His loss because now I’ve no desire to help him at all.
Work done for the day I went home. Was supposed to go to the gym but Joy still wasn’t feeling well so we skipped it. I told her to go see her friends & get some fresh air hoping it would distract her enough to feel better. Dick came home in a relatively good mood and confessed he’s had fish & chips for dinner today and wouldn’t be wanting any tea. He said he was sorry and I told him it made no difference to me which is true. Had a quiet night. A few emails went back and forth. The first was in response to my email saying I’m on it.
H: I thought you meant getting a bed now I realise it was working on my problem… laughing xx
A: Get some sleep. I obviously took your last brain cell with that blow job earlier 😂😂 xxxxx And my brain too as I put my own fucking name on that email 😂😂
H: I missed that, I will now have to decide on your punishment……
A: I think not seeing you for 6 months is punishment enough don’t you? Xxxx
H: I’ll see you before then, just not in the office xxxx
A: No promises no demands 🙌🏼 xx
A: I’m guessing auto correct did that accent on touché 😂
Keep smiling babe xxxx
H: Still smiling xxxx still at the hospital xxxxx
A: Any update or are you keeping her company? I can’t imagine how hard this is for you all xxxxx
So today has been more than ok, I saw Harvey, we had more than the hug we planned on and I feel better for seeing him. I can’t imagine I’ll see him for a while but it will be what it will be and that’s fine.
I thought my days of inappropriate behaviour in cars were behind me but obviously not. I don’t do too badly for an old bird, and there’s life in the old dog yet! I’ve surprised myself if I’m honest, it’s refreshing to know that someone still finds me interesting & desirable it’s just a shame it’s all on hold now. I’d say just my luck but that’s unfair given what’s going on his life right now. I continue to pray for positive news & best case outcome.
Painkillers on board and now off to bed!