21st September

Woke up at 5.30 so I’d had a good 4 & a half hours sleep. Got out of bed for some painkillers & decided it wasn’t worth going back to bed.

Harvey had replied to my email from last night in the early hours.

H: Xxxxxxx it’s been a long night to say the least xxxxx look forward to a chat tomorrow.

A: Oh babe I hope you’re ok xxxx

H: I’m fine just tired as I’m still at the Hospital, it looks like she wasn’t crying wolf this time!! They transferred her to ICU at 3am due to lung function halving in a 6 hr period, that’s now stabilised, they are 99% sure it is what they suspected and they are going to start a treatment plan asap.
In case you are wondering this doesn’t carnage anything between us xxxxxxxx
I will call you for a chat when I can (email first with a time)

A: I’m so sorry. Poor *****, you must all be terrified. I hope she gets sorted swiftly.
If there’s anything you need please shout up.
The last thing I’m thinking about is us, I’m here If you need to speak to me please call, but don’t call because you think I need reassurance. I don’t it’s all good. Happy to listen if you want a chat. Thinking of you all xxxxx

H: Thanks xxxxxxx

A: Is there anything you need doing from a work perspective? The boss has told me & Freya so we’re up to date.

H: It’s fine, I have asked Freya to put my out of office on.

Thanks for being a friend it means a lot, I’ll try not to burden you too much.


A: I’m here if you need me, call anytime and I’ll move away from the desk.
I’m more than your friend, that’s not changed xxxxxx

I feel terrible. I know I’m not responsible or directly involved but I do feel guilty. We both thought it was an attention seeking thing to stop him going away but it’s just like the girl who cried wolf story. It must be so stressful for the whole family. I hope he knows I’m here for him as a friend. Like I would’ve been before all this other stuff started. I’m really worried about him, I’ve put his out of office on and emailed the team to say he’s unavailable. I text his work phone to let him know what we’ve done and told him to log off and get some rest & see to his family.

Had lunch with Freya we had a good catch up about our lives, told her about all the drama with Dick and she was sad it’d got to that state again. It is what it is, I’m not optimistic that it’s sortable. I’ll just float on for now and enjoy the brief peace while it lasts. I don’t have the energy right now to think about it.

Got home and prepared tea as I’m at the gym this evening. I received an email from Harvey.

H: Hardest 2 days of my life.
She’s in an induced sleep and on a ventilator for the foreseeable
I’ll try and talk tomorrow after I’ve had some sleep xxxxxxxx

A: I’m so sorry I don’t know what to say. I truly hope things improve quickly. Make sure you look after yourself too, you’re no help to her if you don’t. She’ll need you to be strong for when she recovers so get some rest & eat.
Here to listen whenever if you need to xxxxxxxxxxx
Ps I’m not expecting or awaiting a call. Thinking of you xxxx

I didn’t know what to say really. It’s devastating, I know he loves her (despite what is going on with us!) and he will be completely overwhelmed with everything. I feel a bit shit pointing out he doesn’t need to call me. I want him to call me if he needs a chat but I don’t want him to call me because he thinks I need to hear from him if that makes any sense? I should be the furthest thing from his mind at the moment, and I think I am, I think he’s just trying to reassure me that nothing’s changed and that’s not necessary. First & foremost we’re friends and I’m here for him whenever, he knows that! Anything more than that is irrelevant right now, I’m praying that she makes a quick recovery and that’s all I’m concerned about. She is in my prayers this evening that’s for sure. Sending positive vibes to whichever deity you believe in can’t do any harm. I hope he gets some sleep!

Went off to the gym after Franks girlfriend had a massive strop as she hates her job! Fucking grow up, no one loves their job and we all have to do as we’re told. She wants to cut her hours down to 22 as full time is too much she doesn’t get anytime to herself!!!! Try working full time & running a house you idle bitch!! Properly pushes my buttons!! Gym was a trial as usual 10 minutes cross trainer, 1 hour dance fit class followed by a full circuit of the weight machines. Knackered! A great distraction from everything going on. I got home and Harvey had emailed me.

H: Evening babe, just woke up for a pee, going back to bed with a banging head. Things are easier knowing I have you as a friend/sounding/board/soulmate/distraction/crutch (bizarrely that types as crotch) And made me laugh, I’m going to add whore to that list but only as its a word you’ve used (it makes my mind run riot thinking about it) I’m going to need a little bit of each to get through this.

Comms isn’t my best area so I’m just typing what comes in my mind hope it makes sense and doesn’t offend.
Dozing back to sleep now million things in my head but every time you pop into it it’s a positive happy thought long may that continue.
Have I told you the story of the girl who cried wolf…… (****** words not mine)
Hugs and xxxxxxx
Ps I’m sure you will handle your blog with tact and diplomacy, I worry we could be identified if it went viral
Night night xxxxx

A: Hi babe.
I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so didn’t think to check my email while I was at the gym. I’m sorry I wasn’t around but I hope you literally went straight back to bed like you said you were.
I meant what I said earlier, I’m here in whatever capacity you need me.
Empty your head whenever & however you need to. If you’d rather I kept this out of the blog I will but you need to know there are over a million blogs and I have 8 followers 😂
The chances of either of us being identified is minute at best and I hate to tell you it’s not nearly exciting enough to go viral!! I’ll review yesterday’s post & amend accordingly.
I can’t imagine how distressing this is for you all. Please take care of yourselves & each other. Eat, rest & just be there for each other. Use your friends & family where you need to, that’s what they’re there for. Sending you a huge hug and thinking of you. You are all in my prayers, I really hope things improve soon xxxxxxxx

I’m devastated for him, its so awful to watch someone you love and care about so much suffer. I can’t imagine what’s going through his mind. I hope he has people round him that care and will look out for him & the family.

Makes my minor drama with Dick seen inconsequential by comparison.




One thought on “21st September

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s