9th September

After Dick had destroyed my morning with his utter twatishness (Yes this is a real word, and if you look it up in the dictionary it has his smug fat face next to it!!) I got up and dressed for work. Was pleasantly surprised to see emails in response to my replies to Harvey yesterday.

H: LOL xxxxxxx

H: xxxxxx setting off in 5 xxxx

A: Safe travels xxxxxx

Got to work and decided to book CR for an hour on Monday afternoon so we can catch up. Harvey has a teleconference for 30 minutes so I’ve booked it beforehand. I emailed him to tell him.

A: I’ve taken the liberty of booking CR from 1 until 2 on Monday. Hope you can make it. No expectations at all, if nothing else we can have a chat in confidence. A hug would be appreciated xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I sent that and made a start on my work.

First up I went to speak to one of my colleagues regarding an outstanding action that was due for closure today. Before I even opened my mouth to speak he bit my head off. I’m doing it now, there’s no need to chase me.

The team were a little shocked and there was absolutely no need for it. I just replied Good Morning buttercup, do let me know if you need any assistance and walked off. A short time elapsed and he came to my desk to apologise. He said he was sorry he bit my head off and knows I’m only trying to help. I decided to let him live as it was his first offence. As he was sat with me one of the other guys that had overheard the exchange commented that it was a good job he’d apologized as they all rely on my help and he was an idiot. The balance of the world was restored.

Until I rang another colleague to ask a simple question about who was going to close out a serious incident we’d had. It had gone in our system as the most senior manager we have and I needed to change it. Before I’d even had an hello he asked me if I’d called him to shout at him!! Fucking hell, am I really that bad???? I have a reputation for getting things done but I’m not a tyrant. An older colleague told me a few weeks ago that I was intimidating, I responded that you would be too if you were this awesome. I give in. It would appear if you work in a male dominated work place and get stuff done you’re labeled a ball breaker. Good.

Dick is being his usual self, he’s at home as he has today off. I called him to see if he could remind our son that he’d promised to do his grandma & granddad’s garden. He bit my head off as I’d interrupted his TV show. What an twat, how blessed he is to be able to book a day off and sit on his arse all day watching tv. A little later I received a whatsapp message with a photo attached. It was a photo of the table outside with fishing gear on there next to a glass of wine.

D: what more does a man need?

A: I was expecting a bottle of beer & the x box remote so I was at least close.

D: Not sure the wines a good idea I just cut the wrong line.

A: With a bit of luck you’ll be half cut before I get home.

D: Yeah I hope so, I can just about cope with you when I’ve had a drink.

A: Yeah same for me. It’s little wonder I fell off the wagon.

D: Harsh

A: Factually accurate

D: Now got Kenny & Dolly singing in the background. Life doesn’t get any better.

A: I think you need to get out more. At least you’ll be fine living on your own.

GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Honestly the urge to kill was strong today. Sending me a photo with a glass of wine on, suggesting that his life is better with me when he drinks and generally being a complete twat is not really helpful is it? Yes I didn’t have to say there’s no wonder I fell off the wagon, after all, it’s not his fault, it’s mine. But he doesn’t help at all.

I left work on time for my appointment to see the nurse & GP for blood tests & blood pressure tests as usual. They’ve taken extra as they need to see what damage the last two weekends have done. I had a full panel on the Friday before I fell off the wagon so it’ll be interesting to see.

Got home to find him still sat there at the patio table and the wine bottle is empty! He doesn’t really drink much anymore so it’s going to be carnage. No offer to make me a drink or ask how was my day. It’s like I don’t fucking exist at all. I hope he planned to cook his tea as I wasn’t doing it. Fuck him, the house looks like a bomb has hit it, he’s done fuck all. Just done his own thing with no care or consideration for anyone else.

I chilled upstairs until it was time to go to the gym.

I smashed the gym with Joy. Didn’t do a class but hit the treadmill, weight machines, boxing, rowing machine & cross trainer. I’m going to suffer tomorrow, which should be good as I’m at a football match all day with Dick.

Reveived an email from Harvey in response to booking the CR for Monday.

H: Look forward to it xxxxxx 11hr drive today 3hrs tomorrow xxxxxxxxx

A: Bet you’re knackered. I’m back in the gym xxxxxxxx

Chilled upstairs once I’d returned from the gym & had a shower.

My plan is to hide from the world. It’s evident the world is happier without me so let’s give them what they want. Time to look after myself and let everything slide I think. I’m hoping I get a decent night sleep as I’m exhausted.



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