Yesterday was a very busy day!

So after a rubbish nights sleep and being in some considerable pain with my back I went to work. I had fallen the previous weekend (sober I might add!) and I have the most spectacular bruising on my hip, arse & thigh. The many medications I’m on mean I bruise like a peach. I must’ve gone with some force as a week later I’m still struggling and my back has taken the strain. I wasn’t in a bad mood as such but I was uncomfortable and not in a great place.

Harvey had said he’d try and call 9am my time and I wasn’t really sure how I felt about it if I’m honest. I didn’t however have chance to worry about it as he called me earlier. I’ll be honest, it was so nice to hear from him but I think I was a little off hand. I got the distinct impression he didn’t want to talk about what had happened, I think he hoped I’d just chat like nothing had happened and we could brush it under the carpet. I could be wrong after all I’m not a mind reader. It wasn’t a very long conversation as he had time constraints as he’d slipped away to make the call. I did appreciate the fact he made contact though. He asked about me and I brushed over what had gone in in my life. When the call ended I rewarded him with a photo I’d taken that morning of one of my breasts!

A: Rereading some of our chats is making me miss you so much. I’ve had to get myself off. Your fingers & tongue need to be here.
Xxxxx

He called me back a bit later to say he’d had to go somewhere in the car alone so he thought he’d call me. I don’t know whether he guessed I still wasn’t great but the fact he called back cheered me up. I do genuinely think he cares about me. He wanted to know about my fall and about my drinking. I was honest I told him what I did and why I did it. His situation didn’t help but it’s not the only reason I drank. I felt so much better after the second call. I felt like we could get past this. He said he’d replied to my email so I read that when I got off the phone.

H: Yes please, I stroked one out this morning, you were in suspenders bent over asking me to do anything l wanted, I asked you to circle your tight arse with your finger nail, you obliged and I stepped forward put the tip of my cock against you and pushed slowly until the tip of my cock stretched your ring and disappeared, I came instantly but hold my self inside while I reach around to bring you off xxxxx

A: I think if you were to be completely honest you’d admit that you would miss this kind of interaction far more than our actual friendship!
Xxxxxx

H: Not true, and that shows how much I value our friendship xxxxxx

A: I do feel better for an actual conversation (or 2!) thank you for that.
I think it’s probably for the best that we try & return to things the way they were a week ago and draw a line under it. Appreciate completely that as far as you’re concerned nothing has changed so it should be easier for you than me, but I am trying I promise. I still can’t articulate properly why I’m so upset but I think by the time I work that out we’ll be further down the line anyway.
Enjoy your holiday & your family, I’ll still be here when you return so don’t worry about the lack of communication, it’s perfectly fine. It is what it is, this is family time and I’m happy that you concentrate on them and making memories to last a lifetime.
I’ll see you when you return xxxx

H: Thank you, kind words. See you soon, I will email only when safe to do so and call if I am on my own for a supermarket run during work time Xxxxxx

I received the item I’d ordered online for our upcoming overnight. They sent the wrong item!! This was totally not something I would wear. I can’t even find the item they sent me on their website!! It was a halter neck body with chains across the breasts and totally not strong enough to contain my epic mammaries 😂 When I got home I decided to try it on for shits and giggles. I sent him a photo of me in it. I’m not joking when I say it looked ridiculous on, I don’t fish for compliments, in fact I’m not a lover of compliments at all but trust me if I’d have looked great in this I would’ve said so!

A: This is not what I ordered 😂

H: It would be a shame to waste it though, it’s made me hard xxxx

A: It’s fucking hilarious, look ridiculous. Maybe 25 years ago I could’ve pulled that look off. I can’t believe you stopped laughing long enough to get hard xxxx

H: Night babe, sweet dreams…….. Of me kissing and teasing your nipples with my teeth whilst 3 fingers fuck you faster than you thought possible, you come in less than 30 seconds xxxxxxx

A: Night babe 😘😘 xxx
Look forward to it.

I was browsing online to find a replacement outfit and suddenly remember I’d bought that outfit as a birthday treat for him. Then remembered in all the upset I’d totally forgotten his birthday!!!! I emailed him to apologise.

A: In all the shit going on I forgot to wish you happy birthday. I really hope you had a good one. I’m gutted they’ve sent the wrong item I wanted the outfit for our away day! Back to the drawing board I guess xxxx

H: Night bade, early start, just a quick cold shower for me before bed! I might go toy Shopping before the 14th any requests?
Xxxxxx

A: You pissed again? 😂
I wouldn’t know where to start lol. Save your money babe xxXxx

Knowing that I wouldn’t hear any more tonight I decided that I’d get up to date on the story so far so apologies for the multi posts yesterday! I thought it would help if I got it all out and posted. It didn’t at all, just made me feel completely crap about the situation. I re-read the draft of previous post and pressed publish.

I then felt really bad. I’d got it all out of my system but felt terrible that Harvey would probably read it at some point and either feel really guilty or shit about it all. I sent him an email to warn him about the content.

A: It doesn’t make great reading but I’m not so much of a heartless bitch to verbatim repeat the conversation. I’ve eluded to what went on and completely redacted the bit about *redacted*. (None of my business I wasn’t there). The downside to a photographic memory is I don’t need to replay it to know what I heard. I’ve been completely honest about how I felt and I hope that if and when you read it you finally get why I was so upset. The last few months have been absolutely fucking horrendous for more reasons than I care to think about. You have been a very bright spot in a dark area and I thank you wholeheartedly for that. If you read the posts and decide that this isn’t for you after all let me know.
No harm, no foul! We start as friends, we end as friends. It stopped being fun for me last Saturday but I haven’t said stop. I’m still here and we’re moving forward. I shall leave you alone now. Take care & have a great holiday. I’ll see you on the 12th if you’re in xxxxxxxx

I wish I knew why I cared so much. I think because we’ve been such good friends for so long, it’s too hard to let go. If I’m honest I’m waiting for him to come to his senses and call it a day. We will see what happens!

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