Last night

Last night was really strange. Dick was his usual monosyllabic self, head in his ipad playing candy crush, poker, reading the news etc. He’s dieting and it makes him really grumpy (well more grumpy than normal) he was going for a walk, he wasn’t going for a walk, then he got his bike lamp set out and was going for a mountain bike ride. Then to decide at 9.30 he was off to bed! I gave him a hug before bed and he kissed my head and said goodnight. I don’t like it when he gets like this, he turns everything inward and makes it difficult to help him get out of it. I hoped he’d go to bed, have a read and when I went up he’d be fast asleep. But he was still wide awake with the light up when I went up 90 minutes later. Lights went off but he was still on his ipad. I stroked his head and back and hoped it would help relax him. It’s been so long since I did this, I can’t actually remember the last time we were this close and affectionate. He laid on his front and whilst I was lying next to him I stroked his head and his hair, down his neck and applied pressure to his back. Soon his breathing changed and he was asleep. I got up to switch off the landing light that one of the children of satan had left on and got back into bed. I disturbed him as the bed is a good 4 inches higher than my hips and I practically have to launch myself at the bed to get on it, (I’m not short, I’ve just got little legs………….!), he asked what the time was and didn’t believe me when I said 11.50 as he felt like he’d had a full night’s sleep. The healing powers of Ava’s hands. We chatted and he told me that he very stressed with work and he’s unhappy with the weight he’s put on so I told him not to worry, he could only do what he could do and that I would help support him with his calorie goals providing he sticks to it. He has a nasty habit of reducing his intake and then he has limited attention span & energy, it’s a very vicious circle and isn’t at all healthy. I tried to help get him back to sleep by rubbing his head and back again. Soon his hand started rubbing my thigh and I knew where this was leading. I was a nice surprise as he’s not the first to make the move usually, as I said in yesterday’s post he’s not really that bothered, which is a real shame because when we do, it’s amazing. He knows exactly what I like and what he does works, as does what I do for him. I’ve never really told him what I want to do though, I can’t imagine he’d appreciate it. And although he likes underwear and I’ve sent him photos of me wearing it while he’s been away, I think he’d probably die if I sent him the stuff I send Harvey. Any way last night, jackpot, I got to relax in the best possible way and so did he. I don’t feel comfortable though discussing the mechanics of that here and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I want to keep my marriage separate from whatever happens with myself & Harvey.

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